Sunday, January 29, 2006
Diaper Bocce (or Poo Petanque)
Given that a diaper pail smells only slightly better than the average neglected horse stall, we play a little game 'round these parts. Once one of the Beans has a generated an eyelash-curling pantload, we toss it downstairs so it's a full level closer to the back porch where our knockoff Diaper Genie lives. The fun comes in because our little colons-in-residence are frequently synchronized. Once we've got multiple trouser bombs, the first diaper becomes the "pallino"--or target--and the subsequent payloads are the balls. Good times!
The Court (Note usual kiddie detritus on stairs and completely unadorned walls. You wouldn't want a fully-laden Huggie taking down a framed family treasure.)
The Pallino is tossed...(You can tell this one was a real mind-bender because it had to be bagged.)
The first ball arcs down...(Lefty, no less. Is this guy good or what?!)
What a shot!!
#2 (or #1 if we're talking contents) heading downrange...
Okay, this is a little embarrassing. #2 was a "steppie"--or a shot that falls short and doesn't clear the stairs. You can see it peeking out on the left of the bottom tread. This sort of thing will get you ridiculed in a serious turd bocce match. Plus--ever since Garajan Boosnajanian of Armenia did so in the 1936 Finals--tradition dictates that you have to buy one round of drinks for each step you land short of the bottom. (Thankfully, this was a one beverage steppie...in a one player match.) Regardless, even after I rationalize that it happened because the camera was in my tossing hand, I'm afraid I'm still going to cry myself to sleep...
So if you've got the raw materials being produced at the staggering rates we do, I recommend you try this exciting game. Your house will smell better, your hand-eye coordination will improve, and you'll learn to play the back wall carom. Just be sure to wrap the little bundles tightly 'cause if one explodes you'll get a definition of "stippling" that the folks at the Saturday Home Depot class on decorative painting aren't familiar with.
The Court (Note usual kiddie detritus on stairs and completely unadorned walls. You wouldn't want a fully-laden Huggie taking down a framed family treasure.)
The Pallino is tossed...(You can tell this one was a real mind-bender because it had to be bagged.)
The first ball arcs down...(Lefty, no less. Is this guy good or what?!)
What a shot!!
#2 (or #1 if we're talking contents) heading downrange...
Okay, this is a little embarrassing. #2 was a "steppie"--or a shot that falls short and doesn't clear the stairs. You can see it peeking out on the left of the bottom tread. This sort of thing will get you ridiculed in a serious turd bocce match. Plus--ever since Garajan Boosnajanian of Armenia did so in the 1936 Finals--tradition dictates that you have to buy one round of drinks for each step you land short of the bottom. (Thankfully, this was a one beverage steppie...in a one player match.) Regardless, even after I rationalize that it happened because the camera was in my tossing hand, I'm afraid I'm still going to cry myself to sleep...
So if you've got the raw materials being produced at the staggering rates we do, I recommend you try this exciting game. Your house will smell better, your hand-eye coordination will improve, and you'll learn to play the back wall carom. Just be sure to wrap the little bundles tightly 'cause if one explodes you'll get a definition of "stippling" that the folks at the Saturday Home Depot class on decorative painting aren't familiar with.
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I needed that -- a good laugh. I'm afraid our steps have even more kiddie and parent detritus (awaiting movement to the basement or upstairs -- and never getting either place).
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